You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
