he told me I talked like a deaf person
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
