Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
My vagina just clenched in fear
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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