like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
is it fun? or sober?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
