i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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