just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Farmville is her only friend.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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