Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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