apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
