whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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