I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
