So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
