i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
