I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I think your dad took our porno
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
