He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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