You're completely useless in the revolution.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
