when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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