Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Also, beer. Big fan.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
