he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He has the fingertips of a God
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
