I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
