she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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