Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
