You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We are two peas in an std pod
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
