so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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