I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize