going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
