I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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