Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
