Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
