i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You are a genius and a whore.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
