I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
My vagina is officially offended.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
