the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
