i'm signing you up for texting rehab
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize