we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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