I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
