Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize