I could have mohawked her pubes.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
