Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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