I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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