im gay
i know
yea but for you.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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