fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
