Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
