Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Randomize
