the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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