i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I can't turn off my feet"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
