if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize