we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
