Apparently you make a good broom.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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