hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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