So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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