i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
