have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
