Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
