I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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