2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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