There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
