and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
