Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
