I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
