Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Found the puke drawer
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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