I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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