please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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