there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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