i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We're too hungover to prance.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize