every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
