We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
