Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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