Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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