I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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