ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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