My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
