Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
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